1. Nothing changes.
Sure, we live together and do can married things now, but our day-to-day lives are fairly similar to what they were on June 19, 2014. I still hate waking up in the morning. Matt's running shoes are still weird smelling. The trash can still fills up alarmingly quickly and I still avoid taking it out. Bills still come and the weekends are still far too short. Life is still life after your wedding day. The little daily heartbreaks and triumphs that you experienced before your wedding? Guess what. They're still there.
Maybe it's just me, but if I really am honest with myself, I can remember thinking up to about junior year of college that if only I could get myself married, I would have it all figured out. Everything would be happily ever after forever and ever amen. I viewed marriage as the end of the journey, where the credits roll to a sweet song then everybody goes home. I conveniently ignored every REAL example of marriage I'd seen - where there are things like car maintenance and never enough hours in the day - and focused instead on the fairy tales. Instead of viewing marriage as what it is (a beautiful and wonderful season of life), I saw it as the end of the story. I blame this on Disney, romantic comedies, and my own dang self.
So I can't stress this point enough. Life, and everything joyful and tiring and amazing it entails, continues almost exactly as it was before you were married. BUUUUUUT............
2. It changes you.
Marriage has given me the clearest view of how my actions affect others. If I am selfish or sarcastic or in a bad mood for absolutely no reason, it affects my husband. But if I am thoughtful or patient or kind, it affects him too. And because we are living in such proximity and intimacy, the aftershocks of my behavior are impossible not to see. When I see how my action and inaction, my words and silence, either can edify or tear down Matt, there is either positive or negative reinforcement. GOOD - do more of that. BAD - you need to apologize and try to stop.
I knew the intention of marriage was to make us more like Christ, but I think I assumed it would come about solely through some kind of spiritual version of diffusion over time (I have never claimed to be wise). And while I don't want to discount prayer or the work of the Holy Spirit, I know God is also using the logic and psychology he so intricately wove into our minds to make us more like him. Day in and day out.
3. It is good.
There's no way around it, marriage is just goodness. Yes, there are bad days. There are fights and misunderstandings and Monday mornings. But it's also a deep sense of belonging. Of seeing his face and feeling home. There's stability and a permanentness that's pure comfort when life keeps changing and swirling around you. There's a hand to hold in the car, an ear to whisper secrets in in the middle of the night, and a heart that loves you more than anything on this earth.
It's having a second opinion on life's biggest questions - how much should I be putting in my 401k each month? Is it ok if my car makes that sound? and Does this outfit make it look like I'm trying too hard? (side note: if you have to ask, the answer is always yes)
It's learning something new about him everyday - be it ear wiggling or his thoughts on current events - and getting a deeper understanding of how that brain of his works.
It's getting little glimpses of who God created him to be and being humbled and awestruck about how blessed you are to have married someone so selfless/wise/kind/AMAZING.
Matt Phillips, I love you more than Diet Coke, kittens, and Parks & Rec combined. Here's to many more days with you.
There's no way around it, marriage is just goodness. Yes, there are bad days. There are fights and misunderstandings and Monday mornings. But it's also a deep sense of belonging. Of seeing his face and feeling home. There's stability and a permanentness that's pure comfort when life keeps changing and swirling around you. There's a hand to hold in the car, an ear to whisper secrets in in the middle of the night, and a heart that loves you more than anything on this earth.
It's having a second opinion on life's biggest questions - how much should I be putting in my 401k each month? Is it ok if my car makes that sound? and Does this outfit make it look like I'm trying too hard? (side note: if you have to ask, the answer is always yes)
It's learning something new about him everyday - be it ear wiggling or his thoughts on current events - and getting a deeper understanding of how that brain of his works.
It's getting little glimpses of who God created him to be and being humbled and awestruck about how blessed you are to have married someone so selfless/wise/kind/AMAZING.
Matt Phillips, I love you more than Diet Coke, kittens, and Parks & Rec combined. Here's to many more days with you.
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